STEPS TO HOPE Blog by Joyce M Shutt

---

        Acceptance is where all change begins.  In fact, acceptance is the only way that change can occur.  Acceptance is the first of the 12 steps.  “Admitted that we are powerless over….and that refusing to accept what is actually happening or has happened makes life unmanageable.”   As one of the readings in One Day At a time in Al-Anon  puts it  “Acceptance and surrender are the two attitudes that open all doors to us in the Al-Anon way of life.   Yet they are the most difficult to acquire.  No matter how badly we may think life  has beaten us, we still cling to the idea that acceptance and surrender are a kind of giving in, a weakness of character.  Not so!  Acceptance means simply admitting there are things we cannot change.  Accepting them puts an end to our futile struggles and frees our thoughts  and energy to work on things that can be changed.  Surrender  means relinquishing our self will and ideas about how things should be and accepting God's will and His help.’

      I can’t underscore the importance of acceptance  strongly enough.  I spent at least two years refusing to accept the fact that our kids were deep into drugs and alcohol.  It wasn’t until I confronted their addictions as reality that I became willing to look for different ways to respond.  Acceptance freed me to attend  12 step meetings.  Acceptance allowed me to learn about addiction as a brain disease instead of being simply a weakness of character.  Acceptance allowed me to shift my focus from trying to change them to changing myself.  Acceptance allowed me to look at them and their addictions through a new set of eyes, to approach our situation from a completely different perspective.  

     The longer I liveI the more I realize just how important acceptance truly is.  It is the keystone to dynamic living as acceptance is the opposite of resignation and giving up.  Acceptance is what allows me to relate to life as it is, not as I would have it and to tease out all of the reasons for focusing on the joy and freedom that comes from practicing gratitude in all of my affairs.  

#The 12 steps     #acceptance