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I read an interesting article in the Wall Street Journal the other day by Susan Pinker, entitled “Does Facebook Make Us Unhappy and Unhealthy?” She claims that a recent study printed in the American Journal of Epidemiology suggests that the more people use Facebook the less happy and healthy they become.
Drs Holly Shakya and Nicholas Christakis monitored the mental health and social lives of over 5,000 adults over two years time. These subjects agreed to participate in various national surveys collected by the Gallup Organization between 2013 and 2015. During that time they shared information with researchers on their health, social life, and Facebook use. Along with the surveys, researchers kept direct tabs with their subjects Facebook use, how often they clicked “like” or updated their status. This allowed the researchers to take snapshots of the participants health, social lives and chart how their feelings and behavior changed over the two years time. They tracked information such as how often the participants physically got together with friends and acquaintances and how close they felt towards them. There were also questions about life satisfaction, social activities, physical activities, mental health, body weight, etc.
The findings? Facebook use is tightly linked to compromised physical, social, spiritual, and mental health. Amazingly, the more time one spent on Facebook the more likely it was that they would have a 5% to 8% increased possibility of future mental health issues.
Susan Pinker cites two other studies, one from Great Briton focusing on youth and young adults, that also casts a negative light on the social media use of teenagers and young adults. One found that using social media contributed to feelings of isolation, and exacerbated feelings of anxiety and inadequacy. The more one clicked “like” the less secure they seemed to become.
What does this mean for us as individuals and as a society? Convenient though Facebook may be to keep track of with friends, family, acquaintances, and others we don’t know, there is a powerful link between actually having face to face interactions with others (or not) and better mental and physical health. All four research studies tracked whether those who were sad, depressed, or in poor health when the study started improved or got worse. What they found is that most tended to get worse.
Facebook’s response to these studies? Their study concluded that the increased connections allowed by social media improves mental health, but they also admitted that the impact of social media depends on how one uses it and that it is difficult to assess the emotional effect of the internet and more research is needed.
The biggest conclusion of these studies, including Facebook’s, is that social media cannot replace the importance of face to face interactions. We need to put away our smart phones more often, get up and do something, actually talk to people since much of the critical information and emotional nurturing we need comes from reading body language, touching and being touched, and being with and around others. Social media, for all its convenience is one dimensional communication. It is a tool, not a substitute for going places, doing things, and sharing activities with family, friends, and those in our communities.
Joyce Shutt is pastor emeritus of the Fairfield Mennonite Church. You can read her additional writings at stepstohope.weebly.com.
#recovery, #beatitudes, #Twelve-Step, #sobriety, #12 steps, #AA, #NA, #FA, #NarAnon, #Alanon, #ACOA, #CoDa, #Twelve-Step programs, #Jesus Christ, #Sermon on the Mount, #Joyce M Shutt
I woke to depressing news, Two fatal accidents over the weekend. A drug overdose death. Our esteemed leader tweeting nonsense again. After breakfast I walked to the church and worked in our little garden hoping that would cheer me up. Several years ago we put in raised beds at the rear of the parking lot. Vegetables for the local food pantry and flowers just for pretty. On the way I observed the weekly trash pickup and suddenly my internal grumbling and woes turned into gratitude. We are so fortunate to have trash pick-up and curbside recycling! In fact, there are so many people that work behind the scenes to make my/our lives easier. The EMT's, police, and firemen who worked the two fatal accidents, for instance. The crew that does property maintenance at our condo. Our pastor, family doctor, physical therapists, nurses, store clerks, roads crews, school teachers, newspaper reporters, TV personnel, factory workers...
I passed our small town lawyer's office, our little grocery store, pizzeria, and hardware store, and breathed a quiet thank you. Past houses bright with side gardens, planters, hanging baskets on front porches. Past several signs reading "Congratulations Lady Knights" since the high school girls softball team won their division championship. Thank you for this little community that takes such pride in its public school. Thank you for public schools for without them we would not be able to be a democracy, a free nation. Fairfield is so small it doesn't have stoplights so I was grateful when several cars stopped when I came to the crosswalk. I was grateful for the people who smiled and waved as I walked. There is so much for which to be grateful. So much.
Shortly after I started picking the beans it started to drizzle. Thank you for the rain, for saving me the need to drag out the hose and water. Thank you for rain that replenishes our wells, streams and ground water. Thank you for my long sleeved shirt that protected me somewhat, my washable shoes, the wrist band I wear to ease the discomfort in a sore wrist. Thank you for the flowers that smiled at me as I pulled off enough beans to share with a number of people. Thank you for sunshine, blue skies.
Yes, I often feel overwhelmed by all the pain that's too much with us. Yes, I get discouraged. Yes, I frequently feel hopeless. Yes, I get angry at our government leaders who are so willing to pay for war but not care for its own citizens. Yes, I often ask myself "What's the point?" But this is precisely why I've come to appreciate the 12 step program's emphasis on gratitude, the absolute importance of actively practicing gratitude, not as a way of running away or hiding my head in the sand, but as a way of gaining perspective, of experiencing hope, of acknowledging all the good people who bless my life and the good things that happen day after day, month after month, year after year. When I practice gratitude I become aware that in spite of how things may look and feel, all is not lost. In fact, it is impossible for me or anyone else to be cruel, thoughtless, bitter, intolerant, prejudiced when our hearts are filled with gratitude. For that I am thankful.
Joyce Shutt is pastor emeritus of the Fairfield Mennonite Church. Follow her blog at stepstohope.weebly.com
Gratitude is the antidote to fear, selfishness, greed, opening us to a lavish generous world.. Gratitude is the healing balm of Gilead. Gratitude opens the doors to a contented, productive life. Gratitude is the foundation of faith. Gratitude is the oil of kindness, the honey of hope, the yeast of community.
Awareness is the first step in gratitude. We cannot be grateful without being aware of what we have and is open to us. Gratitude is both a practice and a state of mind. Gratitude changes our brain chemistry and can heal mental and physical illnesses. Gratitude can transform broken lives.
Gratitude is a small child watching an ant carry its load across a sidewalk or raindrops running down a windowpane. Gratitude is children playing in sprinklers, jumping into wading pools, riding their bikes, faces lifted into the cooling breezes. Gratitude is the survivor of a fire saying, “thank God we are all safe!” Gratitude is pleasure in an ice cream cone, a tall glass of ice water on a hot day.
We could literally resolve most of our national, financial, and social problems if we all practiced gratitude instead of obsessing over the fear that there aren’t enough resources to go around. If all of us, rich and poor, took the time to be grateful for what we already have rather than focusing on what we don’t have or fear losing, if we all, haves and have nots, practiced gratitude for the many blessings God showers on us every day, we would be less discontented, more willing to listen to each other, to share what we have, to find ways of working together to solve problems such as health care for all, because we would no longer be afraid. If we practiced gratitude we’d be less judgmental, bigoted, insecure, fearful. Gratitude actually makes us more productive and creative. Gratitude opens the door to problem solving, to paying it forward.
Happiness and contentment flow from gratitude. There are so many scientific studies documenting this. Our brains actually work differently when we are grateful because gratitude increases the production of serotonin and dopamine, the happiness chemicals. We are less likely to suffer dementia or get Altzheimers if we are grateful. Studies document that it is almost impossible to be selfish and grateful at the same time.
Practicing gratitude starts with becoming aware of what already is. The little everyday things that really aren’t so little. Cereal and milk for breakfast. Shoes, jeans, a shirt. A beloved pet. A roof over one’s head. A chair to sit on. A cell phone. A bird singing outside the window. Sunshine. Rain. Blankets. A cup. A tea bag. A friend. A helpful neighbor. The next step in practicing gratitude is writing these down. Writing them down involves finger memory. Seeing what we write involves visual memory. Speaking them out loud involves oral memory. By involving different parts of our brain we feel better, more hopeful.
I dare you, dear readers, to take the gratitude challenge. The first week write down at least 3 things every day. The 2nd week increase to at least 6 things each day, adding more as time goes on if you feel like it. Reread your entries. By the end of a year you won’t believe the change in your mental health and approach to life!
Joyce Shutt is the pastor emeritus of the Fairfield Mennonite Church. You can follow her blog at stepstohope.weebly.com.
#recovery, #beatitudes, #Twelve-Step, #sobriety, #12 steps, #AA, #NA, #FA, #NarAnon, #Alanon, #ACOA, #CoDa, #Twelve-Step programs, #Jesus Christ, #Sermon on the Mount, #Joyce M Shutt
I’m tired of hearing about how much better someone else has it, how those “illegals” took our good jobs; how the Mexican cartels are peddling drugs. Who’s buying the drugs anyway? Who said we deserved a new I-Phone every year, or the latest whatever? It’s time we stopped whining about the blacks, Jews, illegals, pulled up our big girl and boy pants and started appreciating what we already have. Granted there is a lot of inequality and inequity that needs addressed. Even so, it’s time we assumed more responsibility for ourselves, turned off our TV’s and cell phones, carefully fact checked where we are getting our news and who we are listening to, and did something to improve our situations or attitudes. If we’d stop feeling sorry for ourselves we’d quickly discover there are a lot of options out there! They may not be what we want. We might even need to take some risks, make some changes, but anything can become a stepping stone to something better.
If Donald Trump hasn’t done anything else he has proved one can be as rich and powerful as he is and still be miserable and insecure. He, more than anyone I can think of, demonstrates wealth and power do not bring happiness. Happiness is not for sale. Happiness flows from humility, graciousness, generosity. Stuff helps, of course, but in the end, stuff is just stuff, and can’t fill that empty hole inside that drives our fear, hatred, bigotry, greed.
Advertisers want us to to think we have to have this or that before we can do anything or be someone. Business wants us to believe that having more will solve our problems, make us happy. But that’s an illusion. Instead of “Have, Do, Be,” happiness flows from “Be, Do, Have.“ Why? Because “Do and Have” inevitably follows “Be.” Be the best of who and what we know ourselves to already be.
Be aware that you are alive. Be aware of what you already have, not on what you don’t have. Be aware of what you can do, not whine about what you can’t do. Be willing to share the little or much that is yours. Sure, stuff can make us happy for a fleeting moment, but it’s more apt to make us more fearful and insecure. Happiness comes with loving and being loved, giving and receiving, doing and creating, sharing and caring.
When we share the little or much that we have, we become more and more aware of what is already ours. We become more and more willing to take advantage of the opportunities that already lie at our fingertips, the resources that are already available to us. Opportunities to volunteer and build up relationships. Opportunities to help others. Opportunities to better our education. Opportunities to pay it forward. Opportunities to network. Opportunities to be grateful. Opportunities to develop new skills that can lead to a better job. Opportunities that make us appreciate just how good we already have it. In the end, being and doing for others is the rent we pay for being on this planet. Having is just the icing on the cake.
Joyce Shutt is the pastor emeritus of the Fairfield Mennonite Church. Read her weekly blog at stepstohope.weebly.com
#recovery, #beatitudes, #Twelve-Step, #sobriety, #12 steps, #AA, #NA, #FA, #NarAnon, #Alanon, #ACOA, #CoDa, #Twelve-Step programs, #Jesus Christ, #Sermon on the Mount, #Joyce M Shutt
I was listening to the radio the other day and heard this amazing statement. “There is no justice; just revenge or love.” The speaker went on. “Justice is supposed to right a wrong, but that’s impossible. We can’t un-murder or un-rape someone. We can’t un-abuse a child, un-lynch a victim. We can’t undo the effects of slavery or wars. There is no justice, no way to right the wrongs of the past. In the end, we are left with two basic options, revenge or love. Learning the lessons of the past. Moving on to something better.”
In the end, we are faced with two basic options, revenge or love. So far, society has chosen revenge instead of love. With what results? Much of the violence and insanity tearing apart the Middle East and spilling out to all parts of the world dates back to the Crusades, with cycles of revenge piled on cycles of revenge. Capital punishment seeks revenge by demanding a life for a life, but to what effect? Has getting tough on crime ended crime? Or just created a whole new class of dysfunctional poverty stricken people trapped in recidivism’s revolving door? Has the war on drugs eliminated drug addiction?
I am ready to let go of our culture of revenge. What can we lose by trying love and forgiveness? Not a squishy permissive love but a respectful love that requires logical consequences for crimes and misdeeds. For instance, mandatory long term drug treatment and getting realistic job skills instead of incarceration.
Louise Murphy in her beautiful little book THE TRUE STORY OF HANSEL AND GRETEL ends with the witch Magda saying, “Truth is no heavier, no more beautiful than lies. Yet there is something that makes me love the truth, and that love made me wander and worry until the truth was given to you, like a gift. For this, in the end, is all we have. The love of something.”
The love of something. Isn’t that what we long for? The love of something that gives meaning to life? That solid foundation upon which we can plant our feet, our faith, our hope? To love enough to forgive the unforgivable? The assurance that life is not just “sound and fury signifying nothing? That love is stronger than hate and beauty greater than ugliness?
In the end, all we have is love, or the lack thereof. When we are done accumulating, seeking, warring, lying. denying, running, blaming, shaming, love is what we long for, what we cling to. Love is what gives us courage. Love dares us to become better than. Love is what inspires us to reach out to others. For it is the absence of love that allows us to hate, abuse, and to seek revenge.
It was the memory of love that Victor Frankl discovered in the Nazi death camp. Love for his dead wife empowered him to survive in the face of incredible odds. Just as it is the memory of loving and being loved that is the only thing that can accompany us into that vast beyond we call death. For if we had no memories of love, we would invent love all over again, for love is truth and truth is love, and God is love and love is God.
Joyce Shutt is the pastor emeritus of the Fairfield Mennonite Church. You can follow her blog at stepstohope.weebly.com
#recovery, #beatitudes, #Twelve-Step, #sobriety, #12 steps, #AA, #NA, #FA, #NarAnon, #Alanon, #ACOA, #CoDa, #Twelve-Step programs, #Jesus Christ, #Sermon on the Mount, #Joyce M Shutt
Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things that matter least. Think about that. The things that matter most must never be at the mercy of the things that matter least.
In business there is this thing called the 80/20 rule. The 80/20 rule says that 80% of a company’s business will be generated by 20% of its customers, while only 20% of its customers will generate 80% of its problems. This principle applies to all organizations. 80% of a church’s financial support and volunteers will come from only 20% of its membership while 80% of the dissension and problems in any organization or family will be caused by only 20% of its members. 80% of the work done in a volunteer organization will be done by only 20% of its volunteers.
This same principle applies to how we manage and approach our daily lives, jobs, and challenges, because it is only 20% of our problems that generate 80% of our stress. The biggest 20% of issues that generates 80% of all marriage and family problems are money, communication, and sex! Yet most of us get so busy stewing about the less significant things that we don’t take time to creatively resolve the 20% which are really significant and prevent us from dealing with what really matters. Of course, focusing on the 80% of smaller stuff is a good way of avoiding the more difficult issues.
The 4th step of AA and other 12 step programs reads: “Made a searching and fearless inventory of ourselves.” If we want to get ahead in life, have healthier, happier relationships with our family and others, we’d all do well to make a searching and fearless inventory of ourselves and the stresses, worries, and issues that keep coming up and coming up. The searching and fearless part means that there need be no judgment or guilt connected with the results. Just honestly assessing where we are putting our energy, the choices we make, and our ways of responding so we can dramatically change our lives for the better.
For instance: Do I have unrealistic expectations of myself, family and friends? Am I afraid to admit my mistakes and apologize? Am I critical and a control freak? Do I mismanage money and resist help? Am I unemployed because I’m holding out for the perfect job? Do I hate my job so much that I need to look for something different? Do I impulse shop, spending money designated for the credit card, rent, car payment? Do I over commit my time, taking on more than I can handle? Do I bail out others and then find myself resenting their lack of gratitude? Am I critical and judgmental? Am I more interested in immediate gratification than achieving long term goals such as saving for retirement?
What an amazing relief to know that by tackling only 20 % of one’s life challenges we can reduce 80% of our stress. In reality, there are few problems that have no solutions, because in most cases we are the problem or a large part of it, and we are the one thing in life we can change.
Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things that matter least.
Joyce Shutt is the pastor emeritus of Fairfield Mennonite Church. She also writes a blog at stepstohope.weebly.com
“The world is too much with us,” the poet Wordsworth wrote, and that was before the Internet,Twitter,Facebook and other forms of instant communications! There are days I just want to crawl into bed and pull up the covers. Too much gun violence, war, devastation, bigotry, greed, race baiting, lies, nastiness. As a recovering pastor, how do I reconcile what I understand as God’s high hopes for humanity with our shabby moral record?
Much of what is fueling our angst, polarization, violence, and fear is the realization that our modern institutions are not constructed to give life meaning. Science can tell how the earth came into being, but not why. Technology gives us incredible power but no help in how to use it. The market gives us choices but no guidance on what to chose. Democracy gives us personal freedom but at this point little shared morality. Capitalism gives us economic incentives but no ethics. Where do we go for meaning?
People have always found meaning for their lives in shared story and agreed upon “truths and constants.” Our religious stories told us how we connect to God. Our national stories gave us a sense of shared identity. Our cultural stories and belief in the rule of law a shared morality. The great tragedy facing us today is we no longer honor each others stories and traditions, but neither have we found anything to take their place.
The US was founded by imperfect men with big ideas and amazing dreams. Somehow they envisioned a form of government and wrote a constitution that allowed for individual differences yet shared goals. To make this work they created a balance of power between the three branches of government and a citizenry willing to work together for the common good, willing to seek that middle ground in order to meet the basic needs of the masses. While based on majority rule, this system also depends on consensus as the ground on which we stand together. This is the genius that made America the land of the free, the home of the brave, the haven for immigrants. This is the insight that enabled us to eventually outlaw slavery, guarantee basic civil rights for all, black or white, gay or straight, legal or illegal. Our founders recognized that we don’t have to agree with or like each other, but we do need to respect and value each other if we are to live, work together, and flourish as a nation.
Charles Dickens said in A Tale ofTwo Cities, “These are the best of times, these are the worst of times” What an apt description for today! We have so much going for us, and yet we are squandering it with our bickering, bullying, and polarization. When we try to win we all lose. My hope is that we can gain the courage to set aside our differences and look for the good in each other so we can once again find that middle ground needed to work together for the common good. That way we can truly make America great again, great in acceptance, great in honesty, great in tolerance, great in wisdom, great in generosity, great in courage, great in shared wealth and opportunity, great in health care, great in educational opportunities for our children, great in freedoms for all.
I’m tired of hearing about how much better someone else has it, how those “illegals” took our good jobs; how the Mexican cartels are peddling drugs. Who’s buying the drugs anyway? Who said we deserved a new I-Phone every year, or the latest whatever? It’s time we stopped whining about the blacks, Jews, illegals, pulled up our big girl and boy pants and started appreciating what we already have. Granted there is a lot of inequality and inequity that needs addressed. Even so, it’s time we assumed more responsibility for ourselves, turned off our TV’s and cell phones, carefully fact checked where we are getting our news and who we are listening to, and did something to improve our situations or attitudes. If we’d stop feeling sorry for ourselves we’d quickly discover there are a lot of options out there! They may not be what we want. We might even need to take some risks, make some changes, but anything can become a stepping stone to something better.
If Donald Trump hasn’t done anything else he has proved one can be as rich and powerful as he is and still be miserable and insecure. He, more than anyone I can think of, demonstrates wealth and power do not bring happiness. Happiness is not for sale. Happiness flows from humility, graciousness, generosity. Stuff helps, of course, but in the end, stuff is just stuff, and can’t fill that empty hole inside that drives our fear, hatred, bigotry, greed.
Advertisers want us to to think we have to have this or that before we can do anything or be someone. Business wants us to believe that having more will solve our problems, make us happy. But that’s an illusion. Instead of “Have, Do, Be,” happiness flows from “Be, Do, Have.“ Why? Because “Do and Have” inevitably follows “Be.” Be the best of who and what we know ourselves to already be.
Be aware that you are alive. Be aware of what you already have, not on what you don’t have. Be aware of what you can do, not whine about what you can’t do. Be willing to share the little or much that is yours. Sure, stuff can make us happy for a fleeting moment, but it’s more apt to make us more fearful and insecure. Happiness comes with loving and being loved, giving and receiving, doing and creating, sharing and caring.
When we share the little or much that we have, we become more and more aware of what is already ours. We become more and more willing to take advantage of the opportunities that already lie at our fingertips, the resources that are already available to us. Opportunities to volunteer and build up relationships. Opportunities to help others. Opportunities to better our education. Opportunities to pay it forward. Opportunities to network. Opportunities to be grateful. Opportunities to develop new skills that can lead to a better job. Opportunities that make us appreciate just how good we already have it. In the end, being and doing for others is the rent we pay for being on this planet. Having is just the icing on the cake.
Joyce Shutt is the pastor emeritus of the Fairfield Mennonite Church. Read her weekly blog at https://stepstohope.net.
#recovery, #beatitudes, #Twelve-Step, #sobriety, #12 steps, #AA, #NA, #FA, #NarAnon, #Alanon, #ACOA, #CoDa, #Twelve-Step programs, #Jesus Christ, #Sermon on the Mount, #Joyce M Shutt
Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things that matter least. Think about that. The things that matter most must never be at the mercy of the things that matter least.
In business there is this thing called the 80/20 rule. The 80/20 rule says that 80% of a company’s business will be generated by 20% of its customers, while only 20% of its customers will generate 80% of its problems. This principle applies to all organizations. 80% of a church’s financial support and volunteers will come from only 20% of its membership while 80% of the dissension and problems in any organization or family will be caused by only 20% of its members. 80% of the work done in a volunteer organization will be done by only 20% of its volunteers.
This same principle applies to how we manage and approach our daily lives, jobs, and challenges, because it is only 20% of our problems that generate 80% of our stress. The biggest 20% of issues that generates 80% of all marriage and family problems are money, communication, and sex! Yet most of us get so busy stewing about the less significant things that we don’t take time to creatively resolve the 20% which are really significant and prevent us from dealing with what really matters. Of course, focusing on the 80% of smaller stuff is a good way of avoiding the more difficult issues.
The 4th step of AA and other 12 step programs reads: “Made a searching and fearless inventory of ourselves.” If we want to get ahead in life, have healthier, happier relationships with our family and others, we’d all do well to make a searching and fearless inventory of ourselves and the stresses, worries, and issues that keep coming up and coming up. The searching and fearless part means that there need be no judgment or guilt connected with the results. Just honestly assessing where we are putting our energy, the choices we make, and our ways of responding so we can dramatically change our lives for the better.
For instance: Do I have unrealistic expectations of myself, family and friends? Am I afraid to admit my mistakes and apologize? Am I critical and a control freak? Do I mismanage money and resist help? Am I unemployed because I’m holding out for the perfect job? Do I hate my job so much that I need to look for something different? Do I impulse shop, spending money designated for the credit card, rent, car payment? Do I over commit my time, taking on more than I can handle? Do I bail out others and then find myself resenting their lack of gratitude? Am I critical and judgmental? Am I more interested in immediate gratification than achieving long term goals such as saving for retirement?
What an amazing relief to know that by tackling only 20 % of one’s life challenges we can reduce 80% of our stress. In reality, there are few problems that have no solutions, because in most cases we are the problem or a large part of it, and we are the one thing in life we can change.
Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things that matter least.
Joyce Shutt is the pastor emeritus of Fairfield Mennonite Church. She also writes a blog at stepstohope.weebly.com
#recovery, #beatitudes, #Twelve-Step, #sobriety, #12 steps, #AA, #NA, #FA, #NarAnon, #Alanon, #ACOA, #CoDa, #Twelve-Step programs, #Jesus Christ, #Sermon on the Mount, #Joyce M Shutt
MONKEY BRAINS AND CREATIVITY
When gurus and wise ones admonish us to “empty” our minds, they obviously haven’t taken a peak into my head. My monkey brains chatter nonstop, day and night. I try to keep all that interior activity as focused as possible, but that’s like trying to make Niagara Falls flow upward. Yet a wonderful thing about monkey brains is I never know what amazing thoughts and observations will come to the fore when I am walking or give my thoughts free reign. I guess that’s why truly creative people claim their best ideas come when they are sleeping, relaxed or bored. In fact, experts maintain boredom is an essential part of creativity and problem solving!
I never dreamed that I would be happiest in my dotage, but I am. No longer focused on trying to be as busy and productive as humanly possible in order to win approval, I am now taking time to “smell the roses.” I suspect much of our national unhappiness, incivility, and polarization comes from our obsession with efficiency, productivity, and profits. Everything we do is about money, power, and possessions. People have become expendable. Good jobs are not defined as those that make us happy but those that pay a lot. Success is measured in dollars, not joy, contentment, creativity, positive relationships and the pleasure we bring others, how well we nurture Mother Nature.
I have become very inefficient in my old age. I no longer plan my day in half hour increments. I keep appointments and commitments recorded in my portable brain (my date book) so when I wake up in the morning, I can run down my sleepy thank yous without worrying about doing this or that.
Thank goodness, I no longer feel a need to justify my taking up space and consuming food and water. Having run through my lifetime allotment of guilt, I am perfectly content to putter around the house, read a book or take a nap. By giving myself permission to let go of all that “important stuff” I now focus on what brings me joy. While I don’t regret all my efforts to save the world and the many things I accomplished, I now decorate my inter-cranial spaces with happy thoughts and creative projects. Having tried unsuccessfully to gain some semblance of control, I figure I’ll just use what time I have left to savor joy in this crazy mixed up delightful world God gives us.
As the keeper of monkey brains and armchair philosophy, I figure the deeper we penetrate the technological revolution the less we should obsess on accruing profits and greater efficiency since human needs, wants, relationships and joys should always take precedence. Just as essential as food, water, clothing, shelter, companionship and good health is the need to experience meaningful work and purpose for our lives. Having bought into the fallacy that wealth determines meaning, we race through life trying to find that elusive fortune that will finally make us happy. In the end, it’s not having money in the bank, a new car, big house, or designer clothes that brings that “the peace that passes all human understanding.” They are nice, of course, but once our basic needs are met, we’d do well to embrace that which brings true joy and beauty to life; friendship, a loving family, the satisfaction of working together on a project, doing what we love, freedom to worship the God of our understanding, a close connection with Mother Nature.
Joyce Shutt is the pastor emeritus of the Fairfield Mennonite Church. She also writes a blog: stepstohope.weebly.com
NEIGHBORING
Stephen Kriss had an interesting article on neighboring in one of our church papers. Stephen lives in a mixed race section of northwest Philadelphia. The family that shares his duplex are immigrants. The first day there his neighbor came with a pot of soup and in broken English offered to help him get acquainted with the neighborhood. Several days later her son mowed his portion of the yard. The following week she brought over fresh vegetables from her tiny garden. He describes the many ways this friendly woman taught him how to be a good neighbor. She introduced him to others in the neighborhood, taught him Spanish, invited him to picnics, watches the house when he goes on one of his many church related trips.
We hear a lot of negatives about immigrants, how they can’t be trusted, how they are taking our jobs, terrorizing our streets, spoiling our country, refusing to learn English. I find that both amusing and sad. Precious few of us who pontificate self righteously about “legality” come from families who entered the US legally. In fact, our ancestors not only invaded this country, they literally stole the land from the native residents. Who is calling the pot black, anyway?
Our problem is not immigration, legal or illegal. It is fear. We Americans see a boogy man around every corner. Our insecurity knows no bounds. We know we have a good thing going and thus are terrified that if we share the wealth we might not get as big a slice of the pie. It’s easier to blame the newcomer than to look at ourselves and the ways we’ve bought into the dogma of fear and greed that currently drives our political and financial systems. Old-timers like me may well remember Pogo who during the Cold War said, “we have met the enemy, and it is us.”
Stephen Kriss concluded his article with “When Jesus talked about who the neighbor was in the Good Samaritan story, he said it was the person who took the time to care. Neighboring takes time. It takes resources. It takes intentionality. Neighboring means stopping long enough to notice others and to assume some responsibility. Being a good neighbor requires being open and trusting. It’s both respect and vulnerability. Many of us who profess to follow the way of Jesus know that being a good neighbor is an essential part of living the message. But neighboring is an interruption in an age of virtual relationships, overbooked schedules, and prioritization of biological family.”
I pray we take time to get to know our neighbors, especially those who may speak, look, or act differently. Since we tend to fear what we don’t know it behooves each of us to step outside our comfort zone so we can discover, as Stephen Kriss did, that immigrants, the “other” are
not so different after all.
Joyce Shutt is pastor emeritus of the Fairfield Mennonite Church. She also writes a blog at: stepstohope.weebly.com.
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Why We Do What We Do
Our religious and political identity is forged early in life by our families, the area of the country, churches and social groups we grew up in. Our ideas about how things should be were shaped long before we got old enough to challenge these assumptions. Acceptance or rejection is deeply conditioned. Most of us unconsciously filter out anything that doesn’t support our deeply held beliefs and assumptions.
Much as I like to think of myself as a free thinker, I am a Mennonite and an advocate for peace and justice because I grew up in a family that taught and lived those values. Some of my earliest memories are sitting on my dad’s lap and listening to the grown-ups talk. While mother would fix the meals and serve as hostess, Dad and his friends reveled in theological, political, and social justice debates and discussions. But they also fleshed out their words with specific actions.
Fairfield Mennonite was founded in 1927 by a group of college educated men and women who no longer fit into a more conservative church intent with protecting established church traditions and doctrines. I was taught to question and believe something only if it made sense, not “just because.” From it’s inception, FMC brought in speakers from other states and countries. The adult discussion group with its dedication to tolerance, freedom of thought, and community service has shaped both the congregation and my life.
My attitudes toward public service were instilled in early childhood. During WWII, I played under the big tables at church while the women knotted comforters, rolled bandages for the troops and hospitals, packed relief, Christmas, and food parcels for war victims. The women canned food for the county home. FMC helped start Child Welfare or what is now called Children and Youth. It built the community hall in Fairfield. It’s been instrumental in starting and shaping the Fairfield Food Pantry as an ecumenical pantry. 57 years ago it started the International Gift Festival whose proceeds go to the artisans, not church coffers. This explains much about who I am and why I write the kind of columns I do.
Acknowledging how our political and religious leanings are determined early in life helps me understand why we vote the way we do or advocate specific public policies. Each of us processes information and facts based on our fundamental sense of who we were and are, where we came from, which party we support, etc. Yet this should never be used as an excuse for not being thoughtful. We all need to constantly challenge our basic premises and be willing to grow and change.
Our polarized society needs to stop blaming or judging “the other.” We need to listen to each others stories and views without judging, demeaning, or automatically rejecting them. We must discard the win/lose, right/wrong mentality. Instead we must seek out places where our ideas and hopes overlap, even as we disagree on other issues. Most of all, we must find those areas of agreement which are there, and then work together in those areas. By so doing we will lose our fear of “the other” and discover friends and allies. Together we can build a better America.
Joyce Shutt is the pastor emeritus of The Fairfield Mennonite Church. She writes a daily blog, stepstohope.weebly.com.
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